Your Brain's Role in Burnout is Your Key to Better Well-Being.

You're tired. Stretched. Running on fumes.

And you keep thinking if you just managed your time better, prioritized smarter, or cared a little less—it would get easier.

But what if the problem isn't you?

The Stampede Effect

When I'm working with clients—whether I'm coaching individuals or sitting across from a group of leaders—I hear the same thing over and over, regardless of industry, company size, or role:

Pressure. Overwhelm. Busy. Stressed.

People aren't sure how they're going to get done what they need to get done. The targets keep moving. The expectations feel unattainable. And it's relentless—like a stampede where nobody knows where they're running to, but they are running! Some people are staying up on foot. Others are lying face down in the dirt.

I see it in coaching sessions. People pop on with exhaustion written all over their faces—like they've finally arrived at the one place where they can show it. Some almost cancel because they have too much to get through. A few do cancel. And the hard part? Coaching is the space where they could actually get a reprieve, refocus, and re-energize for what they're facing. But they're making impossible decisions between the work and themselves.

I see it in workshops. Leaders lamenting that they know they're under-communicating with their teams, but they don't feel like they have a choice. Decisions have to be made so fast. Projects have to move so quickly. There's no time to consider who else needs to be involved or what communication needs to happen. And as a result, collaboration suffers. Key stakeholders get left out. Mistakes get made that didn't need to happen.

The complaints and frustrations vary depending on where you sit in the organization. But there's one thing everyone agrees on: there's no time for recovery and reset.

It just feels like go, go, go with no end in sight.

The Real Problem: You're Wired for a Different World

Here's the thing about being human: our wiring hasn't changed all that much. But the world we're living and working in? It's changed a lot. And not in ways that support how we're actually built.

Research shows that our biological and neurological wiring—what helped humans survive for thousands of years—hasn't evolved all that much. But the world we're expected to live and work in? It's accelerated in ways our internal operating systems weren't designed to handle.

And that mismatch? That's what's making the relentless pressure unbearable, the exhaustion overwhleming—all contributing to us knowing we can't keep going like this, but unsure of what to do (because let's be real—the world is going to slow down).

Let me show you what I mean by the mismatch:

➡️ We're Wired for Connection

Our nervous systems seek safety and regulation through others. Eye contact. A shared laugh. A simple "I've got you."

But if you think about everybody's day-to-day—especially for hybrid or remote workforces—it's incredibly transactional. We've replaced genuine connection with back-to-back Zoom calls, Slack pings, and the feeling that we have to keep it all together alone.

Rather than our brains getting that need for connection met—and all the benefits that come with it—we're left without it. The result? We feel really lonely. We don't turn to people for support. We don't get the insight, input, and diversity of perspectives we need. We fall into the tendency to make things about us and spiral into self-criticism, shame, and doubt that wreak havoc on our confidence, competence, and momentum.

➡️ We're Wired for Reflection and Deep Thinking

We need time for reflection to grow. Einstein famously took daily walks to expand his thinking. But today, we fill every moment. We scroll while we eat and answer emails during meetings — then wonder why we feel mentally fried.

But today? We're packing our schedules jam-packed. We're running from one thing to another, ending our day in utter exhaustion. We're not creating the time our brains need for expansion. Instead, we scroll while we eat, answer emails while we're in meetings, and wonder why we feel mentally fried.

➡️ We're Wired to Respond to Short-Term Threats

Our brains can handle short-term stress, but what we're experiencing is a different story. A loud noise. A sharp turn. Our systems kick in fast when we sense danger—and then the threat passes, allowing us to recover and reset.

But the threats we face now aren't momentary. They're chronic. Layoffs. Economic uncertainty. Political tension. Misinformation. No clear resolution. Just a steady undercurrent of "what now?"

Recent research (Business Wire) shows that 75% of employees report experiencing low mood, largely driven by global uncertainty and current events. We're walking around holding our breath, looking around corners, always on edge.

When we don't recover, we operate at our worst. We become skeptical, risk-averse, defensive. We see the worst in everything. We jump to conclusions before getting the full picture. When we don't recover, our brains aren't functioning well. We're not good critical thinkers or creative thinkers. We're just doing what we need to do to get by.

➡️ We're Told to Innovate—But We're Swimming in Comparison and Shame

Personally and professionally, we're told about the importance of innovation, growth, creativity, boldness, courage. Yet if you look at the culture we live in, it fuels comparison and shame, and perpetuates unrealitstic perfectionism.

We naturally fall into comparing ourselves to the perfect images we see on screens, and our automatic reaction is then to shame ourselves for not being (fill in the blank) enough. It makes it almost impossible to do any of those things we're being asked to do—to be creative, to take risks, to think differently. And it definitely doesn't help when energetically spent and exhausted managers start using that shame as a management technique!

The Need to Turn Inward

When people are struggling—feeling burned out, exhausted, disengaged—the blame usually falls on something external. And it's an easy target: work.

It's not a wrong target. A lot of stress and pressure is coming from work. It is the relationship where we spend the most amount of our time and energy. And within work, the finger-pointing often lands on leadership—because of the power leaders hold and the story that's always running: "They don't get us. They're in their ivory tower."

Again, I don't think it's off base. There is stress and pressure coming from work, from leadership, from the board, from stakeholders.

But the problem with that is it makes us victims. When we solely blame factors that are external to us, we abdicate our sense of agency.

The reality is that there are multiple factors contributing to stress and pressure. Some are external, yes. But many are internal—ways that we're operating that make stress and pressure worse or bring on unnecessary stress.

And that's where we do have agency, control, and influence.

The Cost of Ignoring The Mismatch

For individuals: If we don't create understanding for ourselves of this mismatch, we leave ourselves susceptible to blaming, criticizing, and shaming ourselves for not being able to live up to expectations—ours or others'. When in fact, there are all these other contributing factors making it really challenging.

When we're able to acknowledge and understand the mismatch, we not only have the opportunity to build practices that help offset it, but we have the opportunity to treat ourselves, and others, with more compassion.

For teams and organizations: We end up spending a lot of time, energy, and money addressing the wrong issue or addressing the issue on a very surface level. And we don't get results. That ends up being wasted time, energy, and money.

Recent articles (Fortune) show that employee burnout and disengagement costs the average 1,000-person U.S. company over $5 million annually—ranging from $3,999 per hourly worker to $20,683 per executive. And here's the kicker, a recent report (Interview Guys) found that 82% of employees were at risk of burnout this year — a number that doesn’t appear to be improving.

So many people are missing the chance to really equip people with the information, tools, and practices they need to be successful for the long-term in a sustainable way, no matter the situation.

Understanding Is Only Step One ⤵️

What Actually Helps: Practice, Not Just Knowledge

Information, strategies, and frameworks are great. But mostly, what's needed is consistency and practice.

Think of a swimmer: if for whatever reason they have a tendency to veer to the right, they definitely need some tips on how to offset that tendency. But they can't just learn those tips and call it a day. They have to integrate them into their practice—day in and day out.

The same is true for building the mental capacity. We have our own natural tendencies and we need constant reminders and opportunities to practice that will help us offset that tension.

The Shift You Need to Make

If there's one thing I want you to walk away understanding, it's this:

Yes, there are factors outside of your control that contribute to stress, pressure, and overwhelm. But there is a lot that we don't give consideration to that is within our control.

And this: It's not just hard because it's hard. It's hard because we aren't wired for this world we're living in.

So stop beating yourself up. Stop wondering why it's so hard.

See the opportunity that lives within it—the opportunity to offset those tension points that live within our control, that we do have agency over.

It makes a tremendous difference when we can claim that and do the work ourselves to offset those tension points. The demands aren't slowing down. But you don't have to keep white-knuckling your way through. You can rebuild what the world has trained out of you.

5 Practices to Start Offsetting the Mismatch

• Jump on random moments of connection

  • Connection doesn't have to happen within pre-planned, scheduled get togethers. Think of someone who could use a check-in and send them a quick message right now.

    
    

• Make your recovery worth it

  • Open your calendar and find a time every day where you can do one, or all, of the following: 5-10 deep breaths, 3 minutes of dynamic stretching, writing about 1 thing you're proud of.

    
    

• Shift into healthy competition

  • It's not bad to be competitive, but it is when it chips away at your confidence, competence, and self-worth. Take a couple of minutes to capture in writing what the internal voice of healthy vs. unhealthy competition is, this way you can notice it and actively shift from one to the other.

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